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Ah, “perfect.” That shiny, glittery word that dances in our minds, promising the impossible. The perfect marriage, the perfect body, the perfect friend… It’s like a never-ending carousel of unattainable dreams that leaves us dizzy and disheartened. And let’s not forget the real villains here – marketing and media, making sure to remind us how far we are from this so-called perfection. Thanks a lot, glossy magazines and Instagram filters! Take marriage, for example. So many relationships are left feeling like they’re missing something because, surprise, they don’t live up to the fairy-tale romance we’re spoon-fed in books and movies. Spoiler alert: real life is not scripted by Hollywood. Shocking, I know. Lately, I’ve been giving this whole “perfection” thing some serious thought. In fact, I’ve decided it’s time to show it the door. Like a bad tenant that won’t pay rent and keeps playing loud music at 2 AM, perfection needs to go. But here’s the kicker: perfection isn’t just lounging around in our heads; it’s a sneaky little program running in the background of our minds, pulling the strings without us even knowing. Time to evict it, right? One of the worst offenders of this sneaky program is the obsession with the perfect body. No matter where you go, people just aren’t happy with the way they look. Why? Because somewhere along the way, the idea that you’re only “worthy” if you have abs of steel and legs for days got stuck in our brains. And who do we have to thank for that? Big companies, advertisers, and, of course, social media. They plant these ideas so deep in our minds we don’t even realize they’re growing there. Sneaky, right? So, what’s the solution? First, we need to wake up and realize we’re being played. Awareness is key, my friends. Once you realize that every ad, every post, every glossy photo is trying to sell you something (usually by making you feel bad about yourself), you start to take back control. But I digress. Today’s real topic is perfection – or rather, how to boot it out of our lives for good. What if, instead of chasing some pre-packaged idea of what “perfect” should look like, we flipped the script? What if perfection wasn’t about conforming to some unrealistic standard but about discovering who we really are? Imagine this for a second: a world where we’re all striving to be the best versions of ourselves, without comparing ourselves to anyone else. Sounds pretty amazing, right? No more relationship breakdowns because someone didn’t live up to your impossible standards. No more feeling unworthy because you don’t fit into a particular mold. Just a whole bunch of people, embracing their imperfections and learning to grow from them. Now that would be perfect! 😊

As we delve deeper into the profound tapestry of our existence, the quest for self-discovery is not merely a journey; it is an exploration of the very essence of who we are. Beyond the surface-level encounters in our three-dimensional reality, this expedition involves a contemplation of our past and present, a reflection upon the intricacies of our behaviors, and a profound examination of our responses to the myriad facets of life. The concept of radical acceptance takes center stage in this transformative journey. While it may seem like a challenging notion, it proves to be a beacon of light in navigating the complex labyrinth of existence. Radical acceptance invites us to examine our lives without judgment or resistance, acknowledging the reality of our situations and the authenticity of our emotions. Consider, for a moment, the facets of life that elicit a fervent desire for change. As we navigate these thoughts, we often find ourselves entangled in a web of emotions, grappling with the perceived inadequacies of a situation or the actions of others. The experiment of radical acceptance beckons us to pause, to shift our perspective, and to affirm that the present moment is as it is. In doing so, we release the grip of resistance, opening the door to a sense of calmness and serenity. This practice does not imply passive acquiescence to circumstances; rather, it serves as a foundation for intentional and empowered action. Having accepted the reality of a situation, we are better equipped to ask ourselves, “What can I do to change this?” If tangible actions are within our grasp, we embark on the journey of transformation with purpose and determination. However, if immediate change eludes us, we surrender the need for control, invoking a higher power for guidance and assistance. In the realm of radical acceptance, patience becomes a companion on our journey. The unfolding of time brings with it unexpected solutions, often from sources we had not anticipated. This surrender to the unknown is not an admission of defeat; rather, it is an act of trust in the greater flow of life. As we navigate the intricacies of radical acceptance, we find that it liberates us from the shackles of rumination and suffering. The mind, once freed from the constraints of relentless analysis, can engage in more rational and logical thinking. This shift from the fight-or-flight mode allows us to explore innovative perspectives and solutions that may have eluded us in the throes of emotional turmoil. In the grand tapestry of self-discovery, radical acceptance emerges as a powerful thread, weaving its way through the fabric of our existence. It teaches us that by acknowledging the present, we pave the way for a future unburdened by the weight of resistance. As we journey forth, we unravel the layers of our authentic selves, embracing the transformative potential that lies within the acceptance of what is.

Who am I? Where did I come from? What am I doing here? What is my purpose? Will there be life after I am gone from this life? These are the existential questions that most of us ask ourselves at crucial moments in our lives. Those moments where everything around us makes no sense at all. All the material things that we have worked so hard to gather mean little and the relationships that we have so carefully cultivated are falling apart around us because they did not ultimately bring the happiness and joy that we so desire. These moments of crisis where we question everything about ourselves and no longer identify with who we thought we were, seem overwhelming, threatening to consume us in their rage-filled fire and depths of despair making everything seem pointless. These moments can seem daunting and quite frankly downright scary but just sit back for a moment and take stock of your life. Think about everything that you identify with – your relationships, your career, your material wealth, your partner and you will find that your entire identity and sense of self is based on outside forces. For me this was an intense ‘AHA’ moment – This realization of the need for constant validation from outside of myself that help me maintain a sense of self. The truth is that none of these outside forces can truly connect me with myself. Only I can, and to do that, I have to shed off each outside force, layer by layer like peeling an onion and examine it to understand how I think it defines me and why I have allowed it to define me. As I contemplate this, I think how I am so many things – a wife, a companion, a friend, a daughter, an aunt, a worker, a cook, a reader, a healer. Each of these things define what I do but none of them, tell me who I am, at my core. So as a thought experiment, I shed each definition of who I think I am. What if I am not a wife or a companion or a friend or a daughter or an aunt or a worker or a cook or a reader or a healer or anything. What if I am simply nothing? What if I simply am? What if I am nothing and everything at the same time? When a child is born, it has no real identity. It does not come into the world decisively knowing it is a child of someone or that it is a cranky or sweet child. This child only responds to the stimuli around it – it cries when it is rudely expelled from its mother’s womb – a warm nurturing environment – into the glaring lights of an operating room or the warm glow of the lamp by a bedside table. Either way, its entry is marked by sharp cries of protest because it has been ripped from its known world into the unknown. As it grows, it learns more about itself, its preferences and its dislikes. The young child also learns from the people around it – it learns behaviours and attitudes, biases, prejudices and moral codes. Before long, these become its identity. As the child begins to interact with the world, it discovers that the behaviours, biases, prejudices and moral codes it learnt do not necessarily correspond with its experience in the world and so some of these are discarded while new ones are soon adopted based on the child’s on-going experience and this is a process that is happening all the time. Over time, these behaviours and attitudes become part of an ever-evolving belief system. Here is the thing though, learned behaviours and attitudes, early in childhood become so deeply ingrained that the child is unaware that these belief systems exist deep within the subconscious. The child simply believes that this is who they are.  It is these deeply ingrained beliefs that need to be examined.  The child was not borne with these prejudices, likes, dislikes and behaviours so while these attributes are part of this child, they are not who the child is. They are simply learned behaviours that have become part of a deeply ingrained belief system. Another “AHA” moment! Logically speaking, this makes perfect sense and it follows that I am, in my current state, as a human being, a sum total of the belief systems that I have and if I am unhappy with who I think I am then I have the power to change it! Humanity tends to compartmentalize life – each unit separate from the other – again a learned behavior. In school, for example, our subjects are separated into mathematics, biology, chemistry and honestly most people, don’t really think about the connection between the subjects or that these are artificial boundaries created for ease of learning. In this way, we continue to compartmentalize our lives not truly understanding that one area of our lives connects to every other part and to every other person in some way. Stripping away, layer by layer of identity and compartmentalization , I have come to the conclusion that I have the power to choose who I am, while here on earth and when I have transitioned, I hope to look back and know that I made a positive impact on someone’s life, however small, with my time here. Ultimately, each one of us knows that we are more than we believe and certainly more than we see. In my spiritual work, I have been told that a very small part of our soul is focused on this lifetime and that a majority of our soul is doing many other things – much like the multitasking that we do in our daily lives. What we do in our life, in the here and now, matters – a smile or a kind word can change someone’s life but it also has life lessons that we